Honesty

As perverse as it may seem to say at this time in America, I am choosing to believe this is our honesty moment.

“Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.” Fred Rogers

Honesty is a cornerstone to authentic living.

It is in a moment of clarity when we know we are in an honest space. We know that moment because it feels so welcoming and light. Honesty creates a sacred space of value, love, compassion and tenderness. We transmit this outward in words, action and a mindset that people can resonate with in attraction and happiness.

First, it is necessary to examine dishonesty. Dishonest people are dangerous and scary. They flip around from one scenario to another; whatever works best for them at that moment. They risk our safety, reputation and our ability to live a peaceful life. They will sacrifice anyone to their agenda. I am not even talking about politics. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with a dishonest person. You will have transactions. They cannot see themselves as dishonest because most of all they lie to themselves. The endless circle of dishonesty goes round and round and round depriving the dishonest person of a real life. This is a hell space for them to live in for sure. As hard as it can be to do, we can center and have compassion for the dishonest people in our lives. They are suffering. Just don’t do any business with them, or date them etc.

It’s easier to see dishonesty in someone else than in ourselves. The core of this is that we are still cave people, wielding spears and striving to survive in a hostile and constantly shifting environment. It could be deadly to yield an inch. Admitting mistakes is built into our DNA as a weakness. All that survival of the fittest stuff is still with us. Is it more dangerous in the world today? Sometimes cave living seems tame doesn’t it? It’s important to realize this. We are constantly adjusting how much we can tolerate in one day. Traffic alone will make anyone nuts. And please don’t turn on the TV. The dishonesty is maddening and will drag you down. So, we create our own reality web to give us a sense of control. The issues arise when we are spending a core part of our time fooling ourselves and trying to fool others in order to create a web of control. This is called dishonest living. It is also call being on social media too much.

If we are to establish peace in our mind and if we are to explore conscious living in a sincere manner, then honesty has got to be a bedrock in how we function.

In Alcoholics Anonymous there are 12 steps within the AA format that promote recovery.

The first one is the honesty part. “Admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.” Every time a person speaks at an AA meeting, they announce they are an alcoholic before saying what is on their mind. “Hi. My name is Edna, and I am an alcoholic.” People in Alcoholics Anonymous believe unless they follow a program of rigorous honesty, they risk drinking again. Think about this for a moment. Being honest about their addiction is a lifesaving moment.

What are we risking in our own lives if we are maintaining a dishonest life? This answer is different for each of us. Is it a good sleep night after night or a cherished love we lose. Pursuing a course of rigorous honesty with ourselves is challenging. We have built a persona we rely on to maneuver us through life. So many layers of encrusted habits to scrape away!

I love that moment when I quit running whatever mental game I am in, sit myself down and look at my craving to be Queen of right and power of the moment. What am I lying to myself about? Why am I lying to myself? We all have moments like this when we are so off into our own importance, rightness and power we are all-wonderful. A Buddhist teacher friend of mine would stop people in their Queen/King moment by listening patiently. This usually came about when someone was trying to impress him. He then would quietly say:

“Are you sure?”

Like popping a balloon. I loved the gentleness of it.

Now I ask myself so many times: “Are you sure?” This is my honesty gauge. What is your honesty trigger?

An honest person shines. Everyone knows a really honest person they value in their life. I hope you do. An honest interaction raises everything into a higher resonance. We feel safe and relaxed. Our family doctor was an honest person. My father was the personification of quiet honesty. These people acted with dignity. Who were yours?

When we sink into an honest moment, we can make clear decisions. Not all these decisions are easy. Some end in divorce, a risky career change or end a friendship. Some deep in the night honest moments can change our life for amazing change.

Honesty given and received is a sacred moment. It is when two people stand vulnerable to each other.

As perverse as it may seem to say at this time in America, I am choosing to believe this is our honesty moment. We have reached this moment through many years of lying to ourselves about the ills of this nation and whether we even cared if we were a Democracy. We neglected our house. We let the dishonest people deep into our political system. As any liar will do, they betrayed us. Now in America I see people waking up. The lies have become so catastrophic we cannot continue to shrug them off.

Just as an alcoholic needs to hit bottom to push off to recovery so does America. I am certain it begins with a tsunami of honesty. We are being given the gift of reclaiming ourselves and our country. As we grow in honesty our renaissance as a nation and a people will begin.

Copyright  1952, 1953, 1981 by Alcoholics Anonymous Publishing (now known as Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.) All rights reserved. The Twelve Steps are explained in the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

A moment of peace for you.